After
reading about protected values and working on the concept map it has opened my
eyes on what I feel are my protected values.
I had to think about what my protected values were and how I was and am
willing to go to protect them. I would
say that 100% of what I do is reflective of how it will affect my daughter
either directly or indirectly.
I
chose recycling, school and exercise as my protected values and how they would
relate to her. With recycling I have
gotten her into that habit pretty early on.
In fact when we go places and she sees a can on the ground she will pick
it up and give it to me to recycle. At
work I am the ‘recycle lady’ as I have set up my own recycling bin that I empty
and bring home every few days. I have
gotten many people at work to start thinking “green” at home and have been told
that they think of me when they recycle their water bottles and other items.
By teaching her to be smart about the
environment and understand it only takes one person I am instilling my
protected values on her. Now do I recycle all
the time? No sometimes when I am
cleaning out the fridge, I will throw a container away that I know is
recyclable. Do I feel guilty? Yes I do
but I just don’t have the energy to deal with it unless my daughter calls me
out on it and then I will because I have to follow through because that is what
I taught her. It also helps me to stay
in line with my values of doing my part no matter what.
School
is a big deal for my daughter. Growing up
I missed a lot of school and it had many consequences that I didn’t realize
until I was much older, maybe even when I started taking my master
classes. I missed out on how to work out
problems, social skills and just being a good student. With my daughter I have a rule that no matter
what school will not be missed unless she is sick and even then she has to have
a fever. Recently she missed two days of
school because she was sick and after the first day she said she wanted to go
back because she didn’t want to miss out anything.
I
had the teacher give her all her missed work that she would have done had she
been there so she would not be behind in her work. I got asked why by many people. To me this is something that is important in developing those good habits now she will continue these habits into
adulthood. The big picture is to
understand that there are consequences to every action some good some bad. Getting her to understand this has started to
pay off in the fact that she doesn’t want to miss school.
Her
dad is going to be getting married in April and she is in the wedding and it
will require her to miss a couple of days of school and she said that she would
ask for her work while she is gone so she doesn’t miss anything. I will stand by my values of the importance of
school and how it will benefit her in the long run not only with school but with
many decisions she will make in life. I
know it has changed the way I think and what I do as I have to be her role
model.
The
last protected value is exercise. I feel
strongly that being healthy is a very important part of our lives. I have explained the benefits of exercising
and being involved in sports in general as this helps in many areas. Eating right goes hand and hand in this
regard and she understands what is healthy versus what is not thanks to videos
like Jamie Oliver on TEDtalks as well as listening to me talk to her about
making wise choices with what she eats.
I may not get to work out every day like I want to but I make a point of
doing some type of activity and getting her involved as well.
The
main point I get across to her is that she will be a stronger person both
mentally and physically and it isn’t about weighing a certain amount but how
you feel on the inside. This will also
instill good habits that will last a life time.
Looking
back on these protected values I realize that there are certain things I am
willing to give up to keep these values true and it helps influence my
decisions I make. Using the models from
the Decision Maker text has also taught me how to evaluate these values and to
make changes to keep more in line with these values.
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