Have you ever had a friend who was on the heavy side and kind of shy? She didn’t talk too much and tried very hard to blend into the background so that she didn’t attract attention to herself. You are her friend and always have been. You encourage her to do what makes her happy and to not listen to those people who make fun of her for her weight, the way she dresses or the style of her hair. Then she starts losing weight and working out. She starts styling her hair and dressing really nice. And people notice lots of people.
This friend has now attracted a whole new group of friends who like the new her. Soon she starts changing becoming picky and not wanting to hang out you anymore. She makes comments about other girls who used to look the way she did. Her attitude has changed and she starts to see herself in a different light, a better light than you. She tells you that she is so much more attractive now and that she doesn’t think she should hang out with you anymore because you are not as cool as her new friends.
Change the situation a bit to a coworker who suddenly gets promoted into a position of power. He is always be told how great of a job he is doing, how smart and amazing he is and that everyone thinks he will go far in the company. You used to do the same job and now he barely talks to you and criticizes you for some of the actions you do in your job that he used to. He becomes demanding and belittles you in front of others. You wonder what happened to the great friend and coworker you worked next to every day.
These types of dilemmas happen more times than we want to think. This friend has gained the confidence that she never had before and she doesn’t know how to handle this change so she does what she thinks is right and that is to be around the ones who like the new her. The coworker has a new found power at work now because people listen to him and they do what he says. But why does this happen? As far their friend or coworker why do we stand by and allow it? Shouldn’t we give them a dose of reality?
Some people know how to balance their new found fame, weight loss, promotion, etc. with grace and a hearty dose of reality. They understand that fame can be fleeting and that it is very easy for someone better, younger, smarter or more talented to come in and knock them down a few pegs. Perhaps they have true friends and coworkers who keep them in check and tell them like it is or they know that the fall from power comes just as fast as the ride up. They take the time to see what their weaknesses are and understand them while conceding to them in order to prevent failure from happening. They take the time to become more reflective instead of less reflective by stepping back and thinking without wanting to take action right away. Sounds like the Wu-Wei approach (observing without taking immediate action) doesn’t it?
There is no way of predicting what kind of leader we will be, how we will handle the pressures, the money, the fame, the power of it all. Will we be sure to keep ourselves firmly planted on the ground or will we let all the wonderful things we are told go to our head? Will we hold that ‘magic’ mirror up in front of ourselves exclaiming to all that we are the fairest of the land or will we be sure to set those ‘alarms’ to remind us of who we are and where we come from. It is completely up to us to be able to make that judgment call.
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