Everyone
has a story about something that changed who they are as a person either for
the better or worse. I have two stories
that have had a formative impact on who I am today and how I relate to others
in my personal and professional life. I
am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and it is up to the individual
person to find the positive in something that perhaps doesn’t have the outcome
we wanted.
My mom and step father went through a
pretty ugly divorce in 1982 when I was around 12 years old. My mom was dependent on my step father for
many things, one being financial as he made more money than she did. He also worked as a police officer so there
was usually someone home to look after my brother, sister and myself. When he left, he took the car, the TV, and
many other household items that were necessary for us to live on. This was done while we were visiting family
in CT so when we came home to an almost empty house it was a big shock for us
but especially for my mother.
My step father took it a step further
and kidnapped my sister with the help other police officers and his family
members. He walked right into our house
and picked up my sister (she was only 4 at the time) and used the lights as his
signal that he had her and walked out the door with her while my mom tried in
vain to keep him from taking her. She
got behind his car to try and stop him and was told by another cop that if she
didn’t move out of the way he would arrest her.
We stood there as he drove off with my
sister having no idea where he was taking her or if we would ever see her
again. Seeing the grief on my mom’s face
is something I will never forget. Soon
after this she lost her job because she just couldn’t function and had no transportation.
I had to become an adult at 12 years old.
I did everything I could to make sure that she ate so that she could
keep up her strength while making sure that my brother and I still got to school
and did what was needed including grocery shopping, homework, laundry, cooking,
etc.
After the initial disbelief that this
could happen to us she pulled herself together and with the help of friends and
family was able to get car and a new job.
She had to learn to do many
things that she had always relied on someone else to do. If there was a problem with the car, she
figured out how to fix it. She had to
learn to become an independent person. After
a few months my step dad called my mom and told her he would bring back my
sister.
After this whole situation was over I
saw my mom as a completely different person.
She was no longer dependent on anyone but she was also less trusting of
people as well. Watching my mom go
through everything that she did and how it made her a stronger person whereas
others would have given up has made me a big part of who I am today. I know that I can’t let anything stop me from
being the best that I can be. That there
are many people who are willing to help and will be there when the going gets
tough. The saying “what doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger” is something that I keep in my mind because of what we went
through.
From this experience I have learned
that it is important to reach out for help when you need it and that though it
is okay to depend on others it is also essential to know how to learn and adapt
to new things (whether it is a new software program or new regulations). It took me well into adulthood to understand this
but it is something I carry with me every day as a reminder of how strong I am.
In 1985, I was a sophomore in high
school (around 15 years old) and I was a lost soul. I hated school and swore that when I turned
16 I was dropping out. I hated everyone
and everything and no one could seem to get through to me. Actually after a while everyone stopped
trying to get through to me. They said
it wouldn’t matter and that I wasn’t going to amount to much anyway so why
try?
My English teacher was a wise woman
named Mrs. Meisch. She had been a
teacher for 20 years so she had pretty much seen it all. She observed me for a few months before she tried
to approach me one day during lunch.
Instead of lecturing me or putting me down she asked me how I was
doing. I didn’t even know how to respond
to this. Someone was talking to me and not
at me for once. She pushed my bangs out
of my eyes so that she could see my face and she just talked to me. She asked me about my life, my family, my friends,
and why I was feeling that way I was. No
one else had done this.
She told me that I was the only person
who could change me and that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought about me
it only mattered what I thought about myself.
She found out that I had a love for dance and told me about auditions
there at school for a dance troupe. Her
encouragement and positive outlook forced me to stop feeling sorry for myself
and to do something about it. I
auditioned and made the dance troupe. It
was because of her that my outlook on school and life changed. I stopped making myself the victim of my
circumstances and did something about it.
This today is a big reason why I strive to be the best I can be. I don’t let failures stop me from learning
and growing. I am not afraid of
disappointing anyone else because I know I am giving my best and that is all
anyone can ask for. I maintain a positive
outlook on everything as well.
These two situations have had such a
big impact on my life. No one can change
who you are only you can do that and only if you want to truly change for the
better. I had had many things shape who
I am today, some good and some bad but throughout it all I have come out of it
with a better understanding of who I am as a person and I learn, grow and adapt
from them. This has helped me become a
better listener, problem solver, show compassion for others and a great team
player in my organization.
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