A521.1.4.RB Stories in your organization

Most any university or college that a student is thinking of attending may require the use of financial aid in order to achieve their dreams of earning a degree.  Embry Riddle Aeronautical University (ERAU)—Worldwide is no different.  A majority of our students are working adults who are employed for companies such as Lockheed Martin, Boeing, major airlines, or active duty soldiers currently serving in the military and the need for a degree will help promote all of these students to the next level within their organization.

A common story for ERAU is that many of our students receive some form of financial aid in order to pay for their classes.  With over 150 campuses worldwide our students have received over $113 million in financial aid funding this year (ERAU website).  Without one of these types of funding many of our students may not be able to afford to achieve their dreams.  The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is available to all students regardless of how much money they make or what their credit score might be.

The FAFSA will let the student know if they are eligible for the Pell Grant (which the student is not required to pay back) as well as what type of government backed Stafford loans they qualify for (subsidized and unsubsidized). 

There are several types of aid available to help pay for a student’s education at ERAU:

• Federal Pell Grant (for undergraduates)
• Federal Direct Stafford Loan Program (subsidized and unsubsidized)
• Federal Direct Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students (PLUS) for dependent students
• Federal Graduate PLUS Loan
• Federal Veterans Educational Benefits
• State programs
• Institutional programs

In addition to this, our military students may be able to utilize their military tuition assistance to cover the cost of their classes.  This common story definitely helps promote the goals and ideals of ERAU since our goals are to recruit, enroll, retain, and graduate our students to reach the next level. Financial aid helps to do this for our students.  Without some type of financial aid many of our students would not be able to takes classes through one of our 150 campuses or online.  I have had students call that are frustrated and desperate and even at the point of wanting to quit school because they either can’t get the financial aid they need or they can’t get their campus to help them.

One student in particular stands out for me in regards to the common story and financial aid.  This student was beyond frustrated with financial aid and the campus overall because no one took the time to explain how financial aid worked and he was ready to quit ERAU and attend another university. He relied on this funding not only for tuition but to pay his rent and other living expenses.  I could hear the level of frustration in his voice and I knew if I didn’t do something he was going to leave the school.

I kept a positive attitude throughout our conversation and took my time to make sure he understood how our tracks work, how it would disburse and when he would receive his funding.   At the end of the conversation he was not only happy but also started to call me “Wonder Woman” because he felt I went above and beyond the call of duty in helping him.  He said that I made him feel like a person and not just a number that “my experience at ER would not be the same without having her as my mentor, as most likely I would not be attending ER”.  This student not only finished his undergrad degree with ERAU he is now a grad student here.  This is a big part of the goals and ideals for ERAU, being able to use financial aid to achieve that dream by attracting, enrolling, retaining and graduating students.

A520.9.5.RB.Power

Are you comfortable developing sources of personal influence to gain power?

I feel that I would comfortable using my personal influence to gain power because it would be for the better of the organization.  It would be used to empower others and help them exceed their expectations.  Power needs to be balanced in order for it to work.  Power shouldn’t be used for my own personal gain and it is something that I will continue to work on and become more comfortable with.

Do you embody the characteristics of likeable people depicted in table 5.4 (pg. 290).

I can say that I definitely embody these characteristics pretty well but of course there is always room for improvement!  Being supportive to others by being open and honest with the relationships I have both at work and at home give me the confidence to be a better person and perhaps maintain long lasting relationships in and out of work.  When you are supporting others by helping them when they are overwhelmed with work or being honest with them when they make mistakes you are creating a loyal relationship with that person.  For example, our department is small and tight knit and we tend to fight like family however if we will defend each other to the death and will always back each up. 

They will know that they can rely on you in any aspect of their life.  It is important to be able to be emotionally available for others to support them.  You have to be able to empathize or sympathize with others and understand where they are coming from even if you can’t do anything to fix it you can be there and accept them for who they are.  Being and keeping a positive attitude makes a big difference in how you react to certain situations.  When you are upbeat and can accept others for who they are you can turn someone’s day from bad to good.  I find that my positive attitude (or positive Polly as my friend Leigh Ann calls me) is something that others look up to.  I have been told that my positive attitude is contagious and that when someone is down they can rely on me to bring them back up.  

It is important that you make sacrifices when needed to keep working relationships and even personal relationships working.  When I was approached by a friend at work who told me that she felt I was leaving her out of activities I listened and explained my side of the story.  I told her I didn’t realize that she felt left out and that I would make more of an effort to include her. It made me realize that you can’t expect any kind of relationship to just flow without some kind of work to maintain it.

Are you able to use influence both up and down your organization considering the information in table 5.5 (pg. 291)

After reviewing the information in table 5.5 I feel pretty confident that I would be able to use my influence both up and down my organization.  My directors’ goals are very clear and he makes a point to discuss with us what he is trying to do for us and our department.  There are a lot of pressures that he deals with on a daily basis between keeping up with federal regulations, student issues, meeting with his bosses and keeping his department running smoothly.

The only weaknesses that I see with my director is that he tends to take on so much meaning he wants to keep a lot of the pressure off of us so he will try to handle issues without us having to deal with them.  This in turn puts unneeded pressure on him that he shouldn’t have to worry about.  He also tends to be too nice from time to time.  He wants everyone to be happy but sometimes you just can’t do that.  I do understand why he does this though has it tends to keep us in harmony 99% of the time.

I know that when I bring something to my director that I feel with help with processes or a change in a regulation that may affect us he is open to suggestions and he listens and coaches me on how to move forward with it.  He is the type of person will do his best to make sure my suggestions are heard and will implement them if possible.  There are expectations that he has for me and I for him.  We have an honest and open work relationship and when I do something incorrectly I expect him to tell me and steer me in the right direction.  He knows he can depend on me to do my best and I can depend on him to guide and coach me to be the best I can be.

A520.7.3 Importance of Having a Coach and Mentor

In this week’s readings we have learned all about being a coach and a mentor and the differences of each one.  Being a leadership coach means working with a person within your organization who can coach you on how to be a more effective leader by communicating better, making objective decisions and influencing others in a certain time frame which in turn the person can use in their job as a leader.  On the other side you have leadership mentoring which can happen anywhere any time either professionally or personally.  We are being mentored or are doing the mentoring to some degree in our lives with our kids, in the work place, or with our significant others.

In my discussion I talked about my director being my mentor and how he doesn’t even realize he is doing it.  I watch how he interacts with others, be it his boss, his subordinates, or other coworkers within the organization.  His easy going personality and honesty make him someone to observe.  I try to put myself in his shoes and think of how he would react to a situation. I have asked him before how he does it.  How does he remain calm?  How does he approach a difficult situation?  Did his upbringing have anything to do with the type of person he is today?

He said first and foremost he steps back and looks at it from their side…what are they thinking?  How are they feeling about what the situation is (I have adapted this approach as well)? He also said that he observed his brother and father growing up and saw how they interacted with many different people and wanted to be like that.  This to me shows that when you see people following the “golden rule” it instills that belief in you as well.  When he speaks to you he is not talking down to you he is sincerely interested in what you have to say and what your thoughts are on a topic.  I know that I can ask him anything be it a question on financial aid or what the best plasma TV is to buy to even how to make a better personal budget for myself. 

He doesn’t give you the answer, he wants you to think about it and come to your own conclusion and if it is wrong he will guide you in the right direction without giving you the answer.  The reason is by giving me the answer I will not learn but if I think about it and figure out how to solve the problem I am now being empowered to understand and increase my learning.  This is like the saying “you can give a man a fish and he will eat for a day but if you teach him how to fish he will eat for a lifetime”.

This leads to me to how I am a mentor.  I don’t realize (or didn’t until now) that the teachings I am instilling in my daughter how to be a better person (be kind, helpful, sincere, polite, studious) are aspects of mentoring.  My goal is to get her to think critically about life and how it works.  That there is a reason for everything no matter how big or small it may be.  For example, she was grumpy one evening and didn’t want to do her homework and complained about how unfair life was and how hard it was.  So I thought how do I make her understand how easy she has it?  I told her to close her eyes.  She asked why but of course I asked that she just bear with me she would find out soon enough.  I then asked her to tell me what she saw.  She said only darkness.  I said now imagine that is all you can see, that is all you know.  You can’t see the sky, or colors or anything else other than that darkness.  She said that she wouldn’t like that very much.  Then I asked her to try to reach for her bottle of water with her eyes still closed.  She did try but was way off and said as much.

Then I asked her if she still felt that life was unfair and too hard to deal with.  She said no that she was very lucky to be able to see when many others cannot.  Instead of just ignoring her whining and letting her complain I wanted her to understand that things we may find easy or that we take for granted are things that others don't.  Like my director does for me by making me think I did for her by making her think about her own statements. 

I feel that you can learn many things from the people around you (hopefully only the good things) and if there is someone who you feel can help you become a better person, leader, etc. that you have to take the opportunity to observe and ask questions of this person to sit down with them face to face or chat with them via email or webcam.  The learning experience will well be worth it and you will become a better person and a better more effective leader for it.

A520.6.5.Team Roles

I love being a part of a team!  The feeling of accomplishment you get when you finish the project or meet a deadline at hand is amazing.  I am the type of person wants to get in there and help out in any way possible.  My positive attitude can be annoying to some people (lol) who instead of looking at this chance to make something better, look at it as something that is a pain in the rear. When working in a team environment I find that is when the creativity comes out in people. 

It is amazing that just throwing out an idea that seems silly in your mind can become something great that everyone else likes and it grows from there.  It is a great time to ask questions and figure out where we need to go and understanding that I don’t always have to lead (it is in my nature to do this) because sometimes it is better to be a follower so I can learn how to become a better leader.

            Once we establish what our goal is I immediately want to talk about ways we can achieve our outcome.  I ask questions to everyone as a group and as individuals.  For example, the manual I created for verifications in our new system has already had 5 revisions because I have worked with each member of our team as a whole and one on one.  I found that as a group not everyone was comfortable with stating that they didn’t understand all the information that was provided in the manual.  By sitting down with each member one on one, they were able to express what things they didn’t understand or what was confusing for them.  Then I was able to improve the manual while explaining to all the campuses that changes are going to happen until we are all comfortable with the new processes.  Everyone seems to be happy with the fact that I am open to suggestions and improvements.

            When we have deadlines for posting funds to students accounts I send out the spreadsheets two weeks ahead of time and ask everyone if they have questions or concerns.  If a counselor gets overwhelmed I will jump in and help them so we meet our deadline.  What is the best way and easiest way to get this done?  Is there a way to make it better?  It works the other way as well.  If I am behind and others are caught up they will ask what they can do to help me out.  I have learned that even if it isn’t done the way I would want it to be done, I have to trust that my teammates will do their very best to make sure it is right.  This has opened my eyes to better ways to do things, a smarter way to accomplish the same goal.  When you are so close to something you don’t always see the details, it takes another set of eyes to help you see the whole picture. 

            I tend to be the peacemaker as well so I want everyone to get along because we are together all day 5 days a week it is important for everyone to keep that cohesion that is a must for teamwork!  We can get stressed out at times so I will suggest a lunch date for us as a team to just let loose and enjoy each other outside of the work place.  We will call a group meeting without our director when we need to get the petty crap out of the way and we don’t want it to get to a point that involves getting anyone in trouble.  Each person handles stress differently so finding a happy medium for everyone involved tends to show that you care about each person as an individual and not just someone you work with.  We are a family and know that there will be times when we don’t along with each other much like brothers and sisters do so you deal with it and get over it and move on.  Our motto is “One team One Dream” and it works for us. 

A520.5.3 Forrestor’s Empowerment

Empowerment is a term that has been thrown around since the 80s and has seemed to evolve and transform into something that has for a lack of a better word “power”.  For me, empowerment means having the ability to make a decision based on my knowledge and desire to accomplish a goal set forth by my supervisor.  There has to be trust and confidence that I can do my job and do it well for the overall good of the organization and not for my own personal gain (this is power not empowerment). 

The article, “Empowerment: Rejuvenating a potent idea”, gives examples of companies that tried the “one size fits all” empowerment as well as using a piece-meal approach that didn’t work.  They talked about different levels of involvement such as suggestion involvement, capacity to offer ideas, job involvement, permission to determine the methods of one’s own job, high involvement and having influence on decisions beyond one’s own job that affect the business at large.  I felt that these are great concepts that can be implemented in the work place.  They are similar to the dimensions of empowerment in the chapter that include self-efficacy, self-determination, personal consequence, meaning and trust.

The basis of the levels of involvement from the article and the dimensions of empowerment are the same:

•     there is a feeling of competence and involvement that what you are doing will mean something
•          there is good judgment in having an impact and ability to offer ideas and suggestions
•          there is awareness that you will have an impact on decisions that will be made that go beyond your own job
•          there is appreciation of security and personal choice to be able to decide the methods of your job

I know that if I have all these elements present I can feel empowered in my job and know that what I am doing is having a positive impact on my department and organization as a whole.  Right now with the changes in regulations and processes for verification I feel empowered and when I have people who have been doing this much longer than I have coming to me for guidance it is a great feeling and shows that they have trust in my abilities.

A big part in being able to empower another is that you have can let go of some of your power and the need for control.  The article talks about control needs and how in the process of empowerment the need for control is pronounced.   It is in our nature to want to control the things within our power.  Those who are not empowering others feel the need to be in control of every aspect of the job.  That if there is not very clear and concise direction as well as tight control, unruliness will ensue. 

Empowerment can work but only if you are given the proper tools and information to succeed.  Using piecemeal actions like the article talks about instead of providing information as the chapter suggests you will have failure and frustration.  I need to know that I have all the information to make informed decisions and carry out the project as needed.  It will help me to stay motivated and strive for success in what I am doing.  This will carry over to the other subordinates as well as they will see my determination and will also want to accomplish the common goal.

An important aspect article talks about is self-efficacy.  When I feel that I have the skills, knowledge and feel capable of performing the task at hand it will not only show in my work but also in how I act.  I will feel confident and want to motivate others to this level as well.  The article mentions encompassing employees to make decisions that will help commit them to the organization and I feel this falls under the personal consequences section of the chapter.  When you know that you are contributing and your efforts can have a positive influence on the organization it gives you a sense of pride.  You have active control and impact on their environment.

Another aspect that the article covers is being able to provide employees opportunity and access to develop relationships with clients and upper management within the organization.  The chapter refers to this as meaning.  When you believe in what you do and care about what your standards will produce it gives you meaning and purpose.

After reading the chapter on empowerment and reviewing the article I feel that I have a better understanding of what it takes to empower others and be empowered.  It is important to recognize the inhibitors to empowerment such as attitudes about subordinates, personal insecurities and need for control.

A520.4.3.RB Motivation Beyond Money

“Money Makes the World go Round”, “Money Changes Everything”, Money (That’s What I Want)”, “Mo Money, Mo Problems”, “Money, Money, Money”.  It seems there are songs about money, shows about money and how to make it, a chance to win it and even movies about how to steal it.  So if it is about money and making it what else motivates a person in the workplace?  Let’s face it not everyone works the job they want and certainly we don’t make the money we thought we would be making.  Look up your job title on Google and you are bound to get various amounts from way under what you make to $5,000 to $10,000 more than you make.

In the video, Andy Muholland talks about three motivators:

•       Interesting work
•       Expanding the skill set
•       Recognize me…value me for what I can do, how I can work for you

How do these factors motivate me?  Interesting work is for me a must in my job.  Just like a book or class or activity it has to hold my interest or I will not be motivated to read the book, take the class or join in an activity.  What makes my work interesting is that though the basis of the job is the same (helping the student with their financial aid) it goes beyond that.  I have to know various federal regulations and how they apply to financial aid, websites such as Common Origination and Disbursement (COD), National Student Loan Data System (NSLDS), and FAFSA on the Web (FOTW) well enough to navigate through them, understand them and use them on a daily basis. 

I enjoy talking to students and helping them realize their dreams of a great education.  I get to interact with people from all over the world from soldiers deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan to students living in London and even California.  Knowing that I am making a difference in someone else’s life means a lot to me.  Another aspect of my work that makes it interesting is that I get to travel to our operations center in Killeen, Texas to train our level one agents on basic financial aid and using our systems (Datatel and CS).  They are engaged in learning and ask a lot of questions.  When a trainee comes up to me afterwards and tells me that my training was best training session she has been to because I made something boring fun and interesting it makes my job even more fulfilling.

Expanding the skill set is another area I thrive in.  I don’t want to do the same thing every day for the next 25 years.  At worldwide headquarters, there are employees who have been in the same position doing the exact same thing for 25 years.  There is nothing wrong with that but for me I want to learn all aspects of a job.  I started as a counselor and within six months was asking for more work.  Not because I was bored but because I wanted to learn more.  Like a puzzle, I want to know where all the pieces fit in.  How does one part affect the others?  Once I became the online counselor (I was the central regions counselor with about 700 students) I took on about 1700 students.  I had to learn to manage my time better as well as a new track for which students took class. 

When worldwide took over the process for verifications (verifying information a student puts on their FAFSA) I really enjoyed how it worked and wanted to learn more.  I went to my director and expressed a desire to learn more about this process.  At that time he was planning on opening another position for a manager of loans and verifications.  He asked me if I was interested because again I had expressed my interest in learning more areas in financial aid.  He felt that I would be great in the position but that it would be challenging.  He expressed his confidence in me which was great.

This leads me to the third and according to Andy Muholland, the most critical of the three motivators, Recognize me.  My director values what I can do and how I can work for him.  He sees that I always want to learn more and understand how everything works.  I am a people pleaser at heart so when he says “you did a great job on the manual” I know he means it.  He makes me think and understand how to do things better.  I know that I can count him to mentor me and make me a great leader.

Another motivator for me is flexibility in the work place.  I have worked for different companies where if you needed time off to go to a doctor’s appointment you better be dying.  I work for a company now that recognizes that life doesn’t revolve around work and that there are more important things in life like family.  I know that if I need to take an extra half an hour at lunch time to see my daughter receive an award I can do that.  When we go to 4 day work weeks I have to take shorter lunches because my daughter will still be in school so my boss makes arrangements for me to be able to pick her up before the school closes for the day (she is in an after school program).  It is these little things that make working there great.

Ability to grow in the company is another motivator for me.  I want to know that I can move up in my organization without having to leave the company.  I used to work in the flight department at the Daytona Beach campus and tried a few times for different positions within the flight department.  My bosses boss told me that I could apply but that I wouldn’t get it because I was too valuable in my position I held at that point.  He said that the students and team managers relied on me too much for me to move into a different position, that no one knew the things I did.  I knew at that point that I was getting burnt out and that I would never move up in that department.  On an average day I would see around 200 students in my office.  They would wait for me outside the classroom so they could speak to me.  It was crazy!  There was a joke around campus that if you wanted to know something you “ask Anna” she would know the answer.  Funny thing is that this saying has followed me to my current position as well.

The last factor for me is a great working environment.  If you have a great job but a bad working environment it doesn’t make it worthwhile.  I work with a great team and even though we can get on each other’s nerves  from time to time we all work well together.  We are a cohesive group and we look out for each other and jump in to help each other even if we are super busy. Right now our Eastern region counselor is out on maternity leave (Leigh Ann) so we are all working different parts of her region. 

When she was getting everything ready for while she was out our boss said he would work her region.  I knew that though he could do it he was in no position to be able to do it well because of all the other demands on him (he was getting Veteran Affairs ready for Worldwide) so I got everyone together and asked everyone to pick from her daily functions to work until Leigh Ann came back.  We split it up and I went to my director and told him we had it under control.  He told us in our last meeting that he is pleased with the fact that we do these kinds of things without him even asking us do.  The way I look at it is I am going to spend 8 hours of my day with my work family so it better be a good environment to work in otherwise it makes that 8 hour day a very long one.

A520.3.6.RB Supportive Communcation

After reading the eight attributes of supportive communication I realize that if we incorporated these steps into our everyday tasks, we would have more effective communications between coworkers and our director.  Right now we do pretty well as a group but as I was reading through each attribute I found myself thinking, “oh this is something that coworker A does” or “wow I think this something I do that I need to work on to become more effective”.  By understanding how I communicate as well as how that interaction affects my coworkers and our customers (the student), I can work on changing my techniques and approaches to communicating by implements these attributes.

Congruence, not incongruence communication deals with saying what you mean and meaning what you say.  This seems pretty simple to me.  Be honest in what you are saying and make sure that what you are saying is what you are feeling and is what you intended to say.  The important thing is to remember that sometimes being honest can hurt another’s feelings without you meaning to.  For example, there is a coworker who is always saying “listen” when she is explaining something to a student or even a coworker.  The tone of her voice suggests that she is talking down to others.  I would approach her and ask what it is that she is feeling when she says this and what is it that she is really trying to get across to the person she is talking to.  Is it that she is frustrated because the person does not understand what she is explaining?  Or is the student interrupting her and not letting her answer the question he is asking?  Once this is figured out suggestions can be made to change her tone to be more open instead of condescending.

Descriptive not evaluative communication deals with being able to be objective about a situation by describing what happened, the consequences of the situation and suggesting a better outcome or alternative to the situation.  You are talking about the problem and how to solve it versus laying blame or passing judgment on an individual based on their behavior of the situation (this can also be called hasty moral judgment in some cases).  By stepping back and looking at the problem and then approaching it with a better outcome instead of blaming someone by attacking them you come with a solution that works for all involved.  This supportive communication would work well for our department.  For example, during a meeting one of our coworkers brought up a verification question and said that she had been adding in a component to the verification process that should not have been done.  When we all weighed in at the same time about how that was wrong she felt personally attacked and got very defensive about it saying that she was doing what she thought was correct and that it was helping some students by giving them more money and that she was not doing anything wrong. 

What we should have done was to ask more questions about the situation she was seeing these in, was it only once in a while or was it all the time?  Did she find anything in the regulations that might have led her to believe she should have been adding this component?  Did she check with the verification manager or run her thoughts past anyone else to see what they thought.  Once this was established we could have used the descriptive communication steps to have a better outcome.

Problem-oriented not person-oriented communication deals with problem and issues and how they can be changed rather than the individual persons characteristics.  By saying “this is the issue” instead of “you are the issue” you are using problem-oriented instead of person-oriented techniques.  Problem-oriented focuses on the issue at hand that can be changed or altered instead of person-oriented which focuses on things that can’t be changed.  This would apply to the example I used above.  This coworker can be very defensive and doesn’t like to think she is wrong and by focusing on the problem at hand (should the component be added or not) and not her personally the situation can be diffused and everyone will have a better understanding on what to do in the future.  When it is laid out in as a regulation there isn’t much room for disagreement.

Validating not invalidating communication deals with making sure people feel accepted and understood and that their opinion counts.  Two ways to do this is through flexibility and two way communication.  By being interested in what others have to say and understanding that they may have more knowledge on a topic leads to better solutions and a better relationship with coworkers.  It is also important to be able to express your thoughts and have an opportunity to “have the floor” and participate in the conversation.  This is something we do on our meetings however we need to be more respectful of each other and giving everyone the chance to “have the floor” and explain our thoughts without being interrupted by others who are trying to follow what we are saying without it being completely expressed.

Specific not global communication deals with specific ideas or statements that we can understand and accomplish.  When you are communicating more globally or extreme you are not specific in what is needed and this can lead to confusion and contention.  Extreme thinking such as “you are with me or you are against me” is also called black and white thinking.  There are no alternatives with this type of thinking. When you can be more specific with your communication, behaviors can change and you can accomplish more.  If we are told verifications are going to be easier it doesn’t really tell us anything because it is a general statement.  If we are told the verification is going to be simplified because all the components will be on the same page and we have specific elements to verify then we can take this information and process it and change the way we process to be more streamlined.

Conjunctive not disjunctive communication deals with staying on topic to make it simple.  By adding on to the topic at hand you are keeping everything flowing.  When we are in meetings there is one coworker who constantly throws the meeting out of control by stating something completely off topic. She will pass out an article that has nothing to do with financial aid and usually when we are in the middle of discussing a topic that requires our full attention.  At our last meeting when she tried to go off topic my director asked her politely what it had to do with anything we were talking about.  I think she got the point because she hasn’t done it again.  It is okay to do at the end of the meeting when we are done but not in the middle.  I am going to suggest that maybe we leave about 10 minutes at the end so we can do a round table to catch up on things not financial aid related so there is an opportunity to get these ”fun” things out there.

Owned not disowned communication deals with taking responsibility for your statements by using first person.  By doing this you own up to your communication.  This can help you invest in yourself and become a better person for it.  I believe we could all use a lesson when it comes to this.  It is easy to say “we all thought” when in fact it was only two of us who thought about it.  I know that my director has an easy going manner and can pull out of me things I need to improve on by owning up to what it is I should be working on and how to be more productive.

Supportive listening not one way message delivery communication deals with being able to listen and respond effectively by using reflective thinking.  It takes some skill to be able to listen and listen well and not jump in or try to jump to the conclusion because you think you have gotten the jest of what the other person is saying.  Most people think they are good listeners when in fact they are not.  I thought it was interesting to read that we tend to interrupt those we are close to whether they are family or coworkers.  I tell my daughter all the time did you listen to what I said?  She will say yes and then I ask her but did you hear what I said.  There is a difference between listening and hearing.  It is important to be able to listen and respond effectively at work and at home.